Tug of war

“Aim high, the higher the better.”
“Shoot for the moon, dream big.”
“Who seeks shall find.”
“Try and try until you succeed. Don’t compromise.”
“There is no-one between you and your dreams.”
“Ask and you shall be given.”

They say, you get in life that what you have the courage to ask for. The courage to ask for something is not always enough.

Imagine. What if every step towards something you want is a step away from someone who has always been there for you?

There is nothing more important than family and love.”
“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”
“Love awakens your soul.”
“You always gain by giving love.”
“If you want to become fearless, choose love.”
“When we have each other, we have everything.

Is there anything worse than this state of helplessness?

Deep inside, self dissatisfaction is a choice we make over hurting them. It’s ironic. This choice comes from a mechanism that is trained to choose the best for us. It is functioning at levels beyond our conscious thinking. How can, then, one turn against themselves, when humans are genetically so well trained for survival.

Should we trust this intelligence?

The other option is to revolt.

“Revolt against whom, our own selves?”

This is the unsatisfactory deadend.

10 Happiness Mantras for Moms… :)

That important meeting, a birthday party in neighbourhood and your friend’s engagement – all happening at the same time. You have to attend one and make up for another. Yes, it does get messy at times. Enjoy the beautiful mess. Choose to be happy. 

Here are 10 simple tips to be a Happy mom.

1. RELISH 5-MINUTE BREAKS 

When you are having your favourite juice, sipping your coffee or walking to the nearby store, just enjoy it. Disconnect from rest of the world and enjoy your me time.

Imagine sitting on your couch, looking outside the window and appreciating the beauty of nature with a glass of juice in your hand. Enjoy that juice and think neither about past nor future.

2. GO EASY ON YOURSELF 

There will always be some critics who do not approve of your parenting style. Let them be. You know what is best for you, your family and your baby. Ignore the criticism if it pulls you down and is not constructive. 

Every night before you sleep, think of ten great things that happened to you in the day. You will see the significant positives overpowering the insignificant negatives. 

“Our own worst enemy cannot harm us as much as our unwise thoughts. No one can help us as much as our own compassionate thoughts.” ~Buddha 

3. BUILD YOUR INNER STRENGTH 

A 10-minute meditation ritual every morning or evening can work wonders for you. It will keep you centered, mindful and sane the rest of the day. There are many mobile Applications with guided meditation audios, relaxation music and sleep stories. Once you practice this for a few days, you will experience the super power it gives you.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment,  live in the breath.”  ~Amit Ray

4. DO WHAT YOU LIKE 

Create time to do things you really love to do – reading, listening to music or dancing. If it requires for you to seek help from others, do not hesitate. It does not make you selfish or less caring, it helps you destress. If you neglect yourself, it will make you irritable. 

If you need half an hour to have a conversation with your best friend, tell your family and slot time to speak to her without any disturbance. At times, we assume too much and do not communicate what we want. Ask and you shall be given. 

5. TREAT YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WANT OTHERS TO TREAT YOU 

You want your employer, your family and your friends to understand you, appreciate you and trust you. Do you empathize with yourself enough? Believe in yourself, respect yourself and go easy on yourself. 

Our personality is a reflection of what we feel about ourselves and how we treat ourselves. When we take ourselves seriously, the world is bound to. Believe you are a Queen, treat yourself like a Queen and you will be treated like a Queen. 

6. LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST

“Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.”  – Thích Nhất Hạnh 

Sometimes when we are too busy, we just keep thinking about completing the work. Do not look at your life as just series of jobs to be done. Enjoy everything that you do. Life is not the big achievements; it is the million little things. The time with mother nature, great interactions with good people, sharing and caring is all happening while we are chasing our big goals. Acknowledge and enjoy all of it. 

7. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS 

Most of us stop dreaming or give up on our dreams after becoming a mom. Once you start believing in your dreams again, you will find ways to give time, efforts and attention to this while still managing the other things well. You just have to believe in your dreams. 

“Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality.”  ~Robin S. Sharma 

8. STAY HEALTHY AND LOVE YOURSELF 

Eat healthy, stay healthy and stay fit. However, do not chase size zero. As long as you are healthy and are able to take care of yourself, your family and your work, you are beautiful. Love yourself for who you are and love your body. 

9. BE THE GIRL YOU ONCE WERE 

There are no rewards for being sane all the time. Sing out loud, dance in your living room and play crazy games. In fact, motherhood is all the more an opportunity to be a child again. 

The best thing about kids is that they are not inhibited. It takes immense energy to be self- conscious all the time. It is ok to let loose at times and just be yourself without the fear of judgement.

“In today’s rush, we all think too much — seek too much — want too much — and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle 

10. HAVE FAITH- IN PEOPLE AND UNIVERSE 

Amidst all chaos and uncertainty, it is faith that keeps us going. Your faith can move mountains and your doubt can create them. It is faith in visible and invisible, known and unknown that keeps us strong. Have faith. Stay true to yourself, keep your loved ones by your side and stay strong. 

In pursuit of happiness, we need to just pause and be happy. Happiness will not come to us that one day; it’s experienced every day in little things like these. So, be happy and pass on the happiness to your child. After all, kids don’t need a perfect mom, they need a happy one. Wish you a calm, meaningful and cheerful life ahead. 

Sadhu

Sadhu is walking barefoot along the river that flows next to his kachcha (mud-) house.

Sadhu is a 67 years old man. Carrying long white curly beard on his fair face,
he is the master of a fit-not-fat body.
The cold waters of the river are taking away with them any fatigue that Sadhu’s body is carrying. Slowly as he walks on the mud floor, as his worries and tension start fading away, he feels a sense of freedom. He feels free from holding himself accountable for every wrong that happens in his family. He appreciates not being judged, not being looked at, not being unnecessarily instructed. The silence of the shore, outside and inside, makes him want to live, want to do more.

Suddenly the silence is broken. The sound of the alarm wakes Sadhna up from her dream. The routine life continues. Sadhna gets up from bed, gets the kids ready for school and starts preparing breakfast.

The house gradually starts filling with voices. the husband can’t find his socks, the kids are waiting for the lunchbox and the mother-in-law needs her medicines.

After the husband and the kids leave, it’s time to start working for lunch.

Carefree, she is, only in the dream!!!

I want to be…

Reserved, ever-so-calm and meticulous Manoj is in accounts. Manoj is 38, his wife is a school teacher and his only son who is in 6th standard wins almost every olympiad.

On Monday, Manoj was attending a training session, with his team, where the trainer asked all the participants to introduce themselves and share something unique about them. Manoj introduced himself rather shyly. The trainer probed him to share something unique too.

Manoj smiled. With a twinkle in his eye, said “I want to be a professional music composer.”

Suddenly, the room burst into laughter.
A voice in the room said, “Manoj, you are going to be our next Finance head.”
Another one said, “Building castles in the air.”
Yet another one said, “It’s nothing but weekend hangover.”

Manoj turned red with embarrassment. He felt as if he had stripped off in front of so many people. He hardly spoke that day, everyone had fun at his expense the whole day.

The night was getting even more difficult to get through.
“Why did I even speak up?”
“Really stupid of me to have frivolous aspirations.”
“How am I going to face people tomorrow!”
His own thoughts were the demons in the room, not letting him sleep.

The next day wasn’t a usual one. There were some critical audits scheduled, so everyone was on their toes. Manoj got into high gear and before he knew it, the day was over. There was something unavoidable in the evening, a planned team celebration with the Head of Finance. Manoj got an award this year, and that was one of the reasons for this celebration. Everyone got into their cars and moved to the party venue.

As Manoj entered the venue, one of his colleagues said,
“Look who is here. The next big musician.”
Others started laughing.

Manoj, by now, knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. He just smiled. The party began, and all those who got awarded were asked to say something.
Manoj got to the stage when it was his turn.

“A very good evening everyone.” He began.
“This recognition means a lot to me.
I always wanted to qualify CA and be a great accountant.
This recognition marks the accomplishment of my dreams.
The dreams that I had when I was 15, the dreams that were never mocked at and never suppressed.

When we were younger, we were always asked what do you want to be when you grow up. Whether we said doctor, engineer or CA, we were always encouraged.
I didn’t know much about accounting when I decided to be a CA.
That didn’t matter.
Everyone knew I will learn with time.

Why don’t we ask each other the same question now?
What do you want be after 10 years!
We are more self-aware and worldly wise now.
We can make amazing choices that inspire us, and can motivate us everyday.
We have stopped dreaming and we don’t let people around us dream too.
Isn’t that just sad?
In 10 years’ frame, we can be anything we want to be.
We can try, fail, learn and grow.
My humble plea to everyone here is to never stop dreaming.
It’s the best thing in the world.
A dream is the best gift that you can give to yourself.
So, yes… I want to be a professional Music Composer in 10 years.
I will start working on it today, with what I am doing.
And however far it may seem, I will take a step a day and I am sure I will reach there.”

The room burst into claps.