How to be Resilient in these Unprecedented times!

We are the toughest species on Earth
We survived when earth trembled
We survived when disease broke boundaries and spread mercilessly
We survived the bombing of Hiroshima & Nagasaki
We survived when the coast was tormented by Tsunami
The picture was never perfect –
for
We resisted but in due course relented too
We turned rigid, almost gave up but found life when we flexed and changed with time.

Evidence shows that we not only survived but thrived as we built pillars of Resilience and Adaptation around the event.

What is Resilience and why is it important?

Resilience is a way of thinking. It is not a fixed trait that is ‘hard wired’ into us.
Some people incorrectly believe that resilience is something that a person is born with. However, whilst life experiences may shape our levels of resilience, with focused effort it can also be learned and developed.
In these unprecedented times, we need to learn to intensify our Resilience trait a lot. Why?
The world is changing exponentially, the velocity of change has created an unfathomable V.U.C.A. world for all of us. V.U.CA. stands for Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity in the transactional world.
And each word describes the unpredictable times we are in. Business profit lines have thinned to fade away. Children have extended holidays and no curriculum to follow. Exams have deferred, marriages cancelled and worse, when an old aunt is cremated by neighbours and no one in the family could reach her in time.
On the other hand, nature is thriving in all of this. Nothing has stopped its growth. Birds fill the air with wonderful vocals, animals are reclaiming their space in sea and land, skies are clear. Nature has rejuvenated itself.

Growth is ceaseless, seamless and moves against gravity. Humans too have to toe the line. Come what may, when faced with a mountain, either walk around it, cross it or if need be, tunnel through it. The movement is mandatory, the free flow of energy is natural. Anything reverse means – Adieu Zindagi.
What ever happens never give up! Be bigger than your problem. Be flexible in your approach. A mind “set” while solving problems is already a defeated proposition since it will define the ceiling to your solution search. Uncork your mind to explore unknown pathways. To find solution, one needs to go out of the comfort zone, or in short find “out of the box” solution.
It’s a hard fact: If a person has only one option to choose in life, that stage is called “Being Stuck.” But if one has choices to opt from, this is freedom – true internal freedom of being resourceful.
How do we power up the Resilience trait within us?
Here are the 8 pronged path to become resilient in the upcoming times.

Self belief

Every lock has a key. Believe in your self that there is a solution to every challenge and that you are capable enough to weave out of the situation.

Prime your brain

Brain needs instructions to work upon. The thoughts you feed the brain with give the directional force to the brain. So, affirmations, definitions and revisiting the belief systems help in priming the brain.

Optimism

To watch a garden full of weeds and expecting flowers to blossom is not the definition of optimism. An individual needs to plant the right thoughts in the mind that will take the person towards a solution mindset. If surrounded by negativity, the individual cannot lead the victory march.

Map your territory

Know your strengths and limitations and work on options that can be achieved while up-skilling to upscale. The more you know about yourself, the faster you can flex with inner calmness.

Seek support

We all need coaches and mentors as we move through different stages of life. Reach out for help without any inhibition and deal deftly with the Post Covid situation. Seek support to empower yourself, so that when time demands you can extend your support too.

Network for Net worth

The more you are are known in your network, the more people are likely to recommend your product or services and even you.
Stay in people’s mind with good work and words.

Communicate, Listen, Read, Repeat

The more you communicate with the right people about the issues in hand, the better you will be able to get cognisant of the new situation. Listen to what people need. Read to be updated and then, continue doing these cycles.

Ruminate your plans well

80% planning and 20% execution… Plan your self well to be able to win a situation with less failures.

We are, at this very moment, living in an era, a history, that is a reality for each one of us. There are two options to choose from. To be a History maker or be a History reader. Makers choose while readers follow.

The romance of a New Normal is about to begin. Stay committed!


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Shilpi Khandelwal 
Being spiritually intelligent is the only answer to overcome the V.U.C.A. world. And it’s the same guidance Shilpi reinvents herself to stay at par with the industry needs. Shilpi has a training experience of over 15 years across diverse industries.

She is an NLP coach, a PPA assessor and EQ practitioner from Thomas International. She also holds an Executive coaching certificate from Franklin Covey. She initiated her training company, TOUR DE FORCE, which means masterly feat, in 2010. Her company has done 15000 hours of classroom training and 350+ outbound Trainings. Tour de Force is a compassionate Training company and everything around it is for a reason other than business. Her interest in Design Thinking made her hit the books and she certified as a practitioner from QGlue. She was an active participant in Nasscom’s Design4India Summit. Being an entrepreneur herself, she would like to train the startups and introduce this concept before they spend millions in launching a product and bleed their scarce resources in failure.

Namaste!

Namaste!

When was the last time we said Namaste to anyone?

Let me guess…
When we were 7 or 8, and we met uncles and aunties, we bowed our heads a bit down, folded both our hands and said, “Namaste Uncle”, “Namaste Aunty”. Actually, even some time back, when we met the same uncle or aunty, it just came out, “Namaste Uncle”, “Namaste Aunty”, without much of the gesture though.. with a slight nod. Also, when we met a friend’s mom or grandmom, and we thought they were as old fashioned as our parents.. we said “Namaste”.
To our friends? Noooo… never.. Why?
In office? What! Why would anyone say Namaste in office?
Oh wait! The last time we had a foreigner on call, and he said “Namaste” in the end because he was speaking to Indians and he assumed it’s an everyday thing for us.. we replied with a smile and said “Namaste” in an accent that he would understand.

So, what is Namaste all about? Is it just another way of saying hello? If we translate Hello to Hindi, does it mean “Namaste”?

Here are a few things we would like to share that you might find interesting and intriguing –

The literal meaning of Namaste, when translated in English, is ‘I bow to you’.
There is a deep sense of respect hidden behind the three words. The Namaste gesture explains its significance. In order to perform Namaste, one places her/his hands together at the heart chakra, closes the eyes and bows the head.
The hands are placed together at the heart chakra to surge the flow of Divine love. Bowing the head and closing the eyes helps the mind surrender to the Divine in the heart.

Literal translation to another language often causes loss of crucial subtleties. Spiritually, Namaste is a way of respecting self as well as others and means “the divine in me recognises the divine in you.”

In Yoga, Namaste is a gesture to exude peace and positivity into the universe with the hope of receiving the positive energy back. With Yoga gaining popularity across the world, Namaste has also been adopted across many cultures.

The idea behind delving into and sharing the latent significance of greetings in our culture, we feel, is to acknowledge the appreciation of lives in our beliefs.

If we adopt this belief in our organization culture, wouldn’t it take care of Diversity and Inclusion?

If we live with this belief everyday, wouldn’t there be more kindness, openness and compassion in our relationships?

Wouldn’t it also reduce a lot of stress that the rat race adds to our lives? With divinity present in all of us, we are equally great and graceful. There is no ‘I’ vs ‘You’. Instead, there is reverence, unity and humility.

Think about it. Our culture has given us something very powerful and before we lose it, let’s know and appreciate its value.

How often do you use the Namaste emoji on WhatsApp?

Namaste! 🙏😊

Leveraging the “Power of Conversations” in the times of COVID Crisis

Change begins with a single conversation.

Conversations are the lifeline to how we get things done in most settings. If you learn to have conversations that are appreciative and inquiry-based, it will strengthen relationships; move you towards positive outcomes in your families, teams, and organization; and promote situations where you can flourish! 

For the last 25 years, I have been studying and practicing the impact of asking questions using AI (no – it’s not artificial intelligence). The AI I am referring to, is Appreciative Inquiry. Something that is easily learnt and powerful when mastered. The power of AI comes from learning to ask questions (inquiry) that add value to others (appreciative), deepen understanding, make room for other perspectives, and inspire new knowledge. The heart of AI is asking life-giving questions. AI is about discovering what gives life to the system, and purposefully looks for what is true, good and possible.

Currently, in my organization, I am serving on a Safety Committee to make recommendations on how to safely re-open a university campus that was closed abruptly as a result of Covid-19. As one would expect, there is tremendous worry, anxiety and emotions surrounding this discussion. How do we re-open? How do we keep our campus community safe? When does the staff report back to work? These are some of the many questions that the committee is struggling to answer. We are learning that there are many concerns and fears among employees about coming back to work.

Instead of making assumptions about how employees feel, the committee is having conversations with all the employees across the 16 departments (via Zoom) to make space to hear:
– What are their concerns?
– What are their ideas to re-open the campus carefully, responsibly and safely?

The department that I work for will be hosting two Town Hall Meetings (again virtually) with our students to learn:
– What worked when we suddenly had to go online?
– What can we do better?
– What are their concerns and wishes for the fall semester?


We also have critical infrastructure (essential) employees working on-campus and have asked:
– What are some of the best safety measures they are using?
– What is working well?
– What do they need more of?

AI questions are intentionally designed to put the employees in a ‘connect’ mindset with the goal of understanding why, when and how might we begin to bring employees back; and re-designing how their departments work with each other and the students who may (or may not) be coming back this fall. We do not know what the fall will bring, but we are already in conversation about what worked well, what is working, and what is possible.

Are your conversations providing clarity, deepening understanding, generating possibilities, strengthening relationships and providing alternatives to create a pathway forward?

To learn more about Appreciative Inquiry visit AI Commons:
https://appreciativeinquiry.champlain.edu/
The “AI Commons” is a place for everyone with an interest in Appreciative Inquiry (AI) and positive change.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. Jacqueline (Jackie) M. Stavros’ passion is working with others to create meaningful results for positive change. She is a professor in the College of Business and Information Technology at Lawrence Technological University. She has co-authored 7 books, over 50 articles and book chapters related to Appreciative Inquiry and SOAR.

Two recent books are:
Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement (www.ConversationsWorthHaving.today), and
Thin Book of SOAR: Creating Strategy that Inspires Innovation and Engagement (soar-strategy.com).

She has worked in 25 countries using Appreciative Inquiry (AI) to affect the lives of thousands of people and enabled hundreds of organizations improve capacity to thrive and increase performance. Her work has been featured in Forbes, SmartBrief, Detroit’s Live in the D, dbusiness Magazine, and leadership and training blogs and podcasts. She is a keynote speaker on positive approaches to leadership, strategy, and change. She earned a Doctor of Management in Capacity Building Using an Appreciative Approach: A Relational Process of Building Your Organization’s Future.
(Email: jstavros@ltu.edu)

Lock – Unlock

The Sun is about to rise. It is still dark and from my balcony, I can see the highway lit up beautifully. I can see the plant at a distance glowing in the silver light and chimney throwing up the golden flame. The interplay of lights here and there is making the sea water, in front, dance intermittently. I can see the birds flying and chirping happily as if singing in excitement for the Sun to rise. The sky is changing colours so beautifully making chariots of Gods come alive and disappear one after the other in different formations. One innocent redness is now visible just a little above the hill in the middle of the sea. The red ball is now climbing up the hill and the Sun rays have started their play on the sea surface. Here comes a pigeon and another one in the balcony adjacent to mine. The pigeon above says something to the pigeon sitting a little below and they keep communicating in total oblivion to everything around. They fly away a little later to join their other friends flying happily over the sea waters. I chant the Gayatri mantra welcoming the rise of the morning Sun and close my eyes to just listen to the chirping around . Silence has its own beauty and I don’t know how many minutes elapsed in that peaceful blissful silence. In silence, I hear the gentle sound of the church bell nearby announcing the beginning of the new day.

This all has been around every day. How come it just comes alive when everything, everyone is locked up? What is this new life amidst the dance of terrible fear around – the fear of losing it all? What is this emerging when everything else seems to have been denied, taken away?

I sit there quietly reflecting. It’s a lockdown. Lockdown of tea stalls, lockdown of Vada pav shops, lockdown of that small general store having all one needs. So, all this gets locked down. So does the income for these people and many more giving them daily supplies. How are they managing things for themselves and their dear ones? How are the emergencies being handled by them? It’s a lockdown of our office. How does the show go on? What’s the new norm of working, connecting and for how long? What’s happening in other organisations?

A part of me is still in the deep silence of early morning and all of a sudden, I again find myself getting consumed by this silence within and the play of nature outside – both mingling seamlessly.

As I get up to get ready to work from home and be nicely available to the office colleagues for the whole day, I am still wondering why it took a human crisis for the gifts of nature to unfold. I am still wondering while taking shower why it took a lockdown for our inner beauty and peace to open up to ourselves. I am still wondering while slowly eating my breakfast if it is possible for us to slow down; appreciate the beauty around and within; and make the focused difference to the world as well in harmony. The laptop beeps up with the first teams call for the day – Hello Mohit! Good morning. So, today ……😀😀😀


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mr. Mohit Kumar, Joint President – HR (Hindalco Industries Ltd.) is a Human Capital Strategist with 26 years experience in different facets of Human Resource Management in strongly HR oriented organisations like Hindalco Industries Ltd & Idea Cellular Ltd (Aditya Birla Group), Hewlett Packard, ITC INFOTECH INDIA Ltd (ITC group), SRF Ltd, DSS Mobile Communications Ltd and BCH (Eaton corporation).

He is a passionate thought leader, business enabler, employee champion; and is cross culturally adept having worked in different parts of India and with business and HR teams from over 12 countries. He is actively involved in leadership coaching and development, internal development assessment centers, talent & capability pipeline, sensitivity development and various other quality HR interventions towards creating a learning and winning organization.

Tug of war

“Aim high, the higher the better.”
“Shoot for the moon, dream big.”
“Who seeks shall find.”
“Try and try until you succeed. Don’t compromise.”
“There is no-one between you and your dreams.”
“Ask and you shall be given.”

They say, you get in life that what you have the courage to ask for. The courage to ask for something is not always enough.

Imagine. What if every step towards something you want is a step away from someone who has always been there for you?

There is nothing more important than family and love.”
“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”
“Love awakens your soul.”
“You always gain by giving love.”
“If you want to become fearless, choose love.”
“When we have each other, we have everything.

Is there anything worse than this state of helplessness?

Deep inside, self dissatisfaction is a choice we make over hurting them. It’s ironic. This choice comes from a mechanism that is trained to choose the best for us. It is functioning at levels beyond our conscious thinking. How can, then, one turn against themselves, when humans are genetically so well trained for survival.

Should we trust this intelligence?

The other option is to revolt.

“Revolt against whom, our own selves?”

This is the unsatisfactory deadend.

Broken… or… Beautiful

Sania was reading a book and got interrupted when the doorbell rang. She opened the door and greeted Anirban, her husband.

“Tea or Coffee?” she asked.

“Let’s have tea. I will freshen up in 5 minutes.” he replied.

Sania started crooning and went to the kitchen with a smile on her face. The evening was lit. Sania was liking the calm, pleasant, positive evening. Anirban joined for tea and they started talking about their day.

“Before I forget, we have been invited for dinner today by Aakash and Amrita.” Anirban said.

“Ok”, said Sania.

Suddenly, the vibe of the day changed for her. She started feeling a bit jittery.

Aakash is Anirban’s colleague and Amrita his wife. The couple likes dining out and road trips for exploring new places. Sania used to be excited to meet them initially. However, she realised that every time she met them, there was something that made her uncomfortable. It was the couple’s cynicism about everything and everyone. Every discussion led to them ending into judging someone, criticising someone or just gossiping about someone. Sania didn’t quite like that vibe. She also felt guilty of being a part of it, even though she never contributed. She would just smile and, she felt that by even smiling she encouraged those conversations.

Finally, they met for the dinner. Sania appreciated the preparations and before she realised, the couple started talking about their bad dinner experiences at another colleagues’ house. This was the beginning. Soon, they were talking about someone’s looks or mocking someone’s tragedies. They asked Sania if she had some gossip to share. When she said, she didn’t have any, they started pushing her to share something.

“Come on! There would be something spicy that you know. How about the Department Head’s wife? You met her last week.”

“Ok. Tell us about Department Head. Don’t you think he is too lean? Looks malnourished. Doesn’t he?”

Sania couldn’t take it anymore.

She said, “To be honest, I wonder if I have ever come across anyone who looks perfect in all aspects and has a perfect life all the time. And somehow, I have come to understand it’s our deviations from the standards of a perfect look or a perfect life that make us unique, that make us stand out and that make us beautiful. People with broken hearts, people with broken teeth and people with broken lives have stories to tell. They are adventurous, courageous and are living life to the fullest. For me, broken is beautiful. So, to answer your question, I have met only beautiful people with beautiful lives. In my view, these people deserve only respect and appreciation. I have promised myself to not judge or criticise them.

Not that anyone understood what she was trying to say. However, Sania started feeling better once she expressed this.

The Japanese art form Kintsugi is built on the idea of strength and beauty in imperfection. When a ceramic object breaks, the broken pieces are carefully mended by artisans and the golden repairs are visible — yet somehow beautiful. 

The Turning Point

A very renowned artist was being interviewed.


“Your fan following is growing exponentially. How does it feel to be in this place?”

“Well, I feel extremely grateful for these blessings. I am really fortunate that so many people shower so much of love on me.”

“But yours has not been a very smooth journey. You have always been very open about your struggle. From those days, can you recall a particular moment where you felt like you had gained enough confidence and were sure of yourself, after which things changed?”

“Umm.. That’s a great question. To be honest, it didn’t happen that way. There was no such defining moment where I found confidence. There were days back then, when I felt extremely insecure, embarrassed, anxious. At times, I felt really shitty about myself – inadequate, like a loser, like a complete failure. And interestingly, I feel all those things even now. I go on the other extreme too. Sometimes, I feel like I am on cloud 9, on top of the world, feel extremely stable, confident, graceful and grateful. I feel like I have it all and I know it all. And again, I felt all of these things back then too. I swing between these 2 extremes all the time.

And you know… actually, something did change. At some point, I became a lot more comfortable with the spectrum. Earlier, I used to be comfortable with only the so called “positive” feelings or emotions. And a lot of effort went into hiding, curbing, avoiding the other side or just wanting to get rid of the so called “negative” feelings. Now, I can acknowledge and embrace all my emotions. In fact, I feel grateful, as an artist, to have had these experiences. These are the source, the inspiration for a lot of my work.”

Fight against no one

We become what we can’t fight.

We want to stay sane. Why? Don’t know. But we have to. There are things, in numbers quite large, we don’t like. We want them to not happen. We want them to end. We don’t fight them. Sometimes we “can’t” fight them. Why fight a battle that we will lose after we appear to win?

We are cowards. We are scared to risk what we may end up losing after we win. It kills us from inside. We fight against our own selves. This is a battle we choose over the one we can’t afford to lose, or win.

We are losers. We use our fingers, not our arms to convey what we want. We just can’t fight back.

“What the hell do I do?”, asked a voice inside me, one day.

“Why do you have to fight it? It is the way it is. Stop troubling yourself over it. You are not responsible for everything wrong that’s happening around you.”, came a reply in a slightly different voice.

When there is a conflict inside, one of the sides is assigned to the blood pumping organ and the other to the manager of organs. I couldn’t identify which one was which.

The following day, I argued against the notion of chasing dreams.

10 Happiness Mantras for Moms… :)

That important meeting, a birthday party in neighbourhood and your friend’s engagement – all happening at the same time. You have to attend one and make up for another. Yes, it does get messy at times. Enjoy the beautiful mess. Choose to be happy. 

Here are 10 simple tips to be a Happy mom.

1. RELISH 5-MINUTE BREAKS 

When you are having your favourite juice, sipping your coffee or walking to the nearby store, just enjoy it. Disconnect from rest of the world and enjoy your me time.

Imagine sitting on your couch, looking outside the window and appreciating the beauty of nature with a glass of juice in your hand. Enjoy that juice and think neither about past nor future.

2. GO EASY ON YOURSELF 

There will always be some critics who do not approve of your parenting style. Let them be. You know what is best for you, your family and your baby. Ignore the criticism if it pulls you down and is not constructive. 

Every night before you sleep, think of ten great things that happened to you in the day. You will see the significant positives overpowering the insignificant negatives. 

“Our own worst enemy cannot harm us as much as our unwise thoughts. No one can help us as much as our own compassionate thoughts.” ~Buddha 

3. BUILD YOUR INNER STRENGTH 

A 10-minute meditation ritual every morning or evening can work wonders for you. It will keep you centered, mindful and sane the rest of the day. There are many mobile Applications with guided meditation audios, relaxation music and sleep stories. Once you practice this for a few days, you will experience the super power it gives you.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment,  live in the breath.”  ~Amit Ray

4. DO WHAT YOU LIKE 

Create time to do things you really love to do – reading, listening to music or dancing. If it requires for you to seek help from others, do not hesitate. It does not make you selfish or less caring, it helps you destress. If you neglect yourself, it will make you irritable. 

If you need half an hour to have a conversation with your best friend, tell your family and slot time to speak to her without any disturbance. At times, we assume too much and do not communicate what we want. Ask and you shall be given. 

5. TREAT YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WANT OTHERS TO TREAT YOU 

You want your employer, your family and your friends to understand you, appreciate you and trust you. Do you empathize with yourself enough? Believe in yourself, respect yourself and go easy on yourself. 

Our personality is a reflection of what we feel about ourselves and how we treat ourselves. When we take ourselves seriously, the world is bound to. Believe you are a Queen, treat yourself like a Queen and you will be treated like a Queen. 

6. LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST

“Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.”  – Thích Nhất Hạnh 

Sometimes when we are too busy, we just keep thinking about completing the work. Do not look at your life as just series of jobs to be done. Enjoy everything that you do. Life is not the big achievements; it is the million little things. The time with mother nature, great interactions with good people, sharing and caring is all happening while we are chasing our big goals. Acknowledge and enjoy all of it. 

7. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS 

Most of us stop dreaming or give up on our dreams after becoming a mom. Once you start believing in your dreams again, you will find ways to give time, efforts and attention to this while still managing the other things well. You just have to believe in your dreams. 

“Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality.”  ~Robin S. Sharma 

8. STAY HEALTHY AND LOVE YOURSELF 

Eat healthy, stay healthy and stay fit. However, do not chase size zero. As long as you are healthy and are able to take care of yourself, your family and your work, you are beautiful. Love yourself for who you are and love your body. 

9. BE THE GIRL YOU ONCE WERE 

There are no rewards for being sane all the time. Sing out loud, dance in your living room and play crazy games. In fact, motherhood is all the more an opportunity to be a child again. 

The best thing about kids is that they are not inhibited. It takes immense energy to be self- conscious all the time. It is ok to let loose at times and just be yourself without the fear of judgement.

“In today’s rush, we all think too much — seek too much — want too much — and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle 

10. HAVE FAITH- IN PEOPLE AND UNIVERSE 

Amidst all chaos and uncertainty, it is faith that keeps us going. Your faith can move mountains and your doubt can create them. It is faith in visible and invisible, known and unknown that keeps us strong. Have faith. Stay true to yourself, keep your loved ones by your side and stay strong. 

In pursuit of happiness, we need to just pause and be happy. Happiness will not come to us that one day; it’s experienced every day in little things like these. So, be happy and pass on the happiness to your child. After all, kids don’t need a perfect mom, they need a happy one. Wish you a calm, meaningful and cheerful life ahead. 

Sadhu

Sadhu is walking barefoot along the river that flows next to his kachcha (mud-) house.

Sadhu is a 67 years old man. Carrying long white curly beard on his fair face,
he is the master of a fit-not-fat body.
The cold waters of the river are taking away with them any fatigue that Sadhu’s body is carrying. Slowly as he walks on the mud floor, as his worries and tension start fading away, he feels a sense of freedom. He feels free from holding himself accountable for every wrong that happens in his family. He appreciates not being judged, not being looked at, not being unnecessarily instructed. The silence of the shore, outside and inside, makes him want to live, want to do more.

Suddenly the silence is broken. The sound of the alarm wakes Sadhna up from her dream. The routine life continues. Sadhna gets up from bed, gets the kids ready for school and starts preparing breakfast.

The house gradually starts filling with voices. the husband can’t find his socks, the kids are waiting for the lunchbox and the mother-in-law needs her medicines.

After the husband and the kids leave, it’s time to start working for lunch.

Carefree, she is, only in the dream!!!